Dating 101: Confidence Is Everything

“There’s nothing sexier than confidence”….ain’t that the truth? Probably the most truthful thing you might read this week.

I don’t care how beautiful or handsome you are…..if you lack confidence, you are automatically 50% less attractive…like, immediately.

Now, I’m NOT talking cocky and arrogant. Nope, nope. I’m talking about the ladies and gentlemen that walk into a room, any room, and you notice them immediately. Not because they look like a super model, but because they walk in with their head held high, shoulders back, smiling, dressed to impress and dripping with confidence. Not dripping in diamonds, or plumped with lip fillers, or implanted with silicone, or carrying a LV bag. I’m talking about a girl or guy that, frankly, does not care that much about others’ opinions of them. They know who they are and they understand what they have to offer. Have you ever seen those people? I have….and they are magnetic. They are usually not the most attractive people in the room, sometimes quite the contrary. But they have got such an air about them that you want to get to know them.

That is what you want to work towards. Now, I know. Today, we live in a society where everyone is being judged…harshly and on a constant basis. You compare yourself (which is awful) and compete with one another. It is a society where everyone puts their “best” selves on social media while in reality they are living lonely lives behind their computers. It is terrifying. But true. And you don’t have to tell me otherwise…I get it.

But confidence is something that everyone in this dating world needs now….and believe it or not….CAN actually be taught. Sure, some naturally have confidence. But it can be learned. You just must believe and understand what confidence is.

Ok… can I give you a pep talk?  I mean, like a….”I’m talking to you there in L.A. reading on your iPhone in between swiping through Tinder or Bumble.”

Listen.

You, my friend, are special. I know…corny…but hear me out. There is NO ONE that is like you…no one. And if you’re trying to be like someone else….you’re doing it all wrong. Because there is someone in this world who is searching for YOU. The TRUE you…not the “trying to be like so-and-so on Instagram.” you.  That person, who you need to find, wants to meet you…the REAL you.

And confidence in yourself will guide you to that person.

When I interview, both men and women, do you know what the number one thing they are looking for in a significant other? 90% of the time, confidence is their first answer. For BOTH men and women.

So, how do you become more confident…you ask? Well, if you are not confident at all…then baby steps friend. First and foremost, what you need to understand is….

If someone does not want to be with you, it is their loss…plain and simple.

And let them go. I mean, say goodbye, close the door and move on. You will show your lack of confidence by trying to beg them to stay. Why in the world would you EVER want to be with someone who does not want to be with you?? It blows my mind how many people I talk to are STUCK on that one person. One person. Do you know how many people are in this world? 7.6 BILLION…yes, I just looked it up on Google to be sure. 7.6 BILLION!!! So if ONE, moron, doesn’t see how wonderful you are…kick them to the curb…faster than they can change their mind because…guess what?…90% of the time I’ve closed the door on them…they’ve come back…and I didn’t take them back…no, no (because again…moron for not seeing what I had to offer in the first place)…but they all come back…and presto….there is your one step towards CONFIDENCE. If you don’t have more confidence after doing that…well…you will…trust me…there is no doubt. And then you must just keep going until you find someone that appreciates you…that gets you…that loves you for the silly, quirky, beautiful, smart and caring person that you are….

Life is not easy…but dating, while trying to keep your life together is another world. I remember. Believe you me…I understand it ALL.

So, if you have confidence…keep that shit up. If someone turns you down for a date, thank them for not wasting you time. If someone breaks up with you for whatever reason, say o.k. and leave it at that….do you know how SHOCKED they will be when you do that? And that, my friend, is confidence…..knowing you will be ok..not being with someone who does not want to be with you….so simple.

Hope you all have a safe and wonderful Labor Day weekend!

Do you have any dating questions for me? What can I help you with? Please, leave your comments below and I will answer them as soon as I can…

Best of luck……and remember…

Confidence…because that shit works!

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